Our Story Competition!

We have been writing rags to riches stories in 3F. During the last week of our topic we had a writing competition and we decided that the best story should go on the school blog. It was written by ZA.

Habeeb and the chocolate river!

Many many years ago there lived a grandma who had a grandson called Habeeb. Habeeb had blue eyes, brown hair and shiny teeth. He liked to wear his blue shirt,white shoes and blue trousers. One sunny day his grandma told him to sell their precious dish at the market.So he skipped and he skipped and skipped until he met a chef of a restaurant.”If you sell me your precious dish I will give you not one not two but three cups of hot chocolate !”said the chef. When Habeeb got home his grandma was really cross with him so she threw the hot chocolate out of the window and made him go to bed without any supper!

At midnight Habeeb woke to find out the hot chocolate had grown into a chocolate river. He quickly got dressed and ran outside. He found a boat so he rowed and rowed and rowed until he came to a chocolate castle. Cautiously he opened the door and crept inside. All of a sudden a mean bee appeared carrying a big box of money and gold! “What is that awful smell? Bee Bi Buzzy Bo. I Smell the blood of a human! ” shouted the mean Bee. Habeeb froze like a statue.

Fortunately the bee went to gather honey.Quickly Habeeb took the box of money and gold and rowed and rowed and rowed back home. Unfortunately the bee got back and chased him down the river. When Habeeb got to shore he called out “grandma pull the chocolate plug!”So she pulled the plug and the bee was sucked away.

Finally they were rich and happy with their new money. They bought a new house,a new car,lot’s of good food and two thrones each. They lived happily ever after!

We hope you have enjoyed reading it. What was your favourite part?

 

 

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14 Responses to Our Story Competition!

  1. HA says:

    Well I think it was great the story. It reminds me of jack and the beanstalk
    I loved the part when it says precious !

  2. ma says:

    i like it because it has comma in a list , full stops and a nice title

  3. u.h says:

    i like it because it has commers in a list,full stop and nice tittle .

  4. r.h says:

    I really enjoyed reading this story and i like the part when it says bee bi buzzy bo.

  5. m.h says:

    i really enjoyed reading your spectacular story about habee i really like the title habeeb and the chocolate river.

  6. S.i says:

    I really like your begining of your sentence, your explanation mark and comma in a list.

  7. i.a says:

    I liked your title of your story and the opners because they are very intresting

  8. a.h says:

    she done the best work in the class and she got chosen so in the morning instead of assembly she did her work on texties and wrote and wrote and wrote and then mrs foxen put it on the blog.

  9. Ha says:

    l like the story beacause it has lots of deatil and describing words

  10. H.S says:

    I really like your good story.

  11. Anonymous says:

    I liked your story because you put full stops and capital letters.

  12. H.S says:

    I like your story

  13. F.A says:

    I LIKE our school because people always be friendly and teachers help you a lot

  14. A.H yr 7 says:

    I LIKED THE STORY BECAUSE ITS LIKE JACK AND THE BEANSTALK. ITS REALLY GOOD BECAUSE FOR SOMEONE IN YR 3 TO WRITE A STORY LIKE THAT IS JUST AWESOME IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE IN YR 4 WROTE IT. FANTASTIC JOB!

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